Hometown: Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey

Current location: Next to Laura

1. How well did you sleep last night?

I have a problem. There’s this bottle of water next to my bed. Every night. And if I drink it, I have to get up and piss and wave goodbye to my darling REM sleep. Goodbye REM sleep!!!! I’ll miss youuuuu.

If I don’t, I have dreams. ABOUT DESERTS. Deserts that never end. Sometimes they’re lucid, and I’m flying over the dunes and the camels and the cactuses and I spelled that wrong on purpose. My friend Laura just said the way to remember the difference between spelling deserts and desserts is, for the latter, you want seconds of it. My way was sugar and sweet I like mine better. But back to the problem, and back to summing it up for anyone reading this. Sleep, interrupted. About 3 times.

2. One of your favorite words:


3. Describe your last dream.

My last dream? Me, my mom, my grandpa that I’ve never seen before, maternal side. She was talking some nonsense with him and I was eating something. Maybe Jiffy’s cornbread.

4. What keeps you up at night?

“I’m going to lucid dream about flying. I’m going to lucid dream about flying. I’m going to lucid dream about flying.” Me whispering that to myself because that’s a good way to induce lucid dreams according to the world wide web.

5. Top bunk or bottom bunk?

Top if there’s a slide.


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